Anyone else tell the Lord, "Good Morning" when they wake up?
I do. Mostly, on weekends or days I do not have to work. Those days, it is almost like a reflex. I am cheerful and thankful and almost chatty (with the Holy Spirit), before even setting one plantar fasciitis-afflicted foot on the floor.
Work days are a little rougher. My mind is usually racing with "What do I have to get done today?" thoughts before I ever set one plantar fasciitis-afflicted foot on the floor (yes, please feel sorry for me). I have to reign in those racing thoughts and remember to tell the Lord, "Good morning" and "Thank you" and to ask, "So, what can I do for You today?"
When I became a God-lover at age 30, this was easy-peasey. No-one taught me. It just came. A God-loving geyser, I was. Effortless effervescence for the Lord.
Throughout my recent (and only--thank you, Lord) desert experience, this Son/Sun Salutation was non-existent. Couldn't do it. At. all. Not even when I wanted to. Not even when I willed myself to do it. Not even to avoid the inevitable self-loathing that poured over me, when I realized and 'remembered the heights from which I had fallen'.
The Bible says all things we have are a gift from God. Even the faith with which we come to Him is not our own. Even the desire to pursue Him, once we've met, comes from Him.
Never was this more evident to me than when I was crawling on my hands and knees over the broken glass and hot sand of my spiritual desert.
Oh, I suppose I could have pretended to be in the same giddy God-place I used to be. I could cover up the struggle and soldier on. I could have put on my big-girl panties and a smile and faked my way through the barren wasteland of a desert.
But, would that have been to the glory of God? Would that have glorified Him? I honestly felt like it would not be pleasing to God for me to fake it. I strongly felt that it would be a dis-service to other women (Christian and not) to fake it. Why?
Because as woman and especially as Christians, it seems like we fake it faaar too often to be glorifying to God.
Which is more pleasing to our Father---to use the expected lingo and the postures, even though we are dying inside? or to humble ourselves, admitting that this sucks (whatever your 'this' is) and that we are lost, hurting and in need? Utterly dependent. Broken. Needy.
I can tell when my children are hurting. Their emotional state is not too hard to read, because I am their mom. They were born from my body. I raised them. Would I like it if they denied their hurt, fear, etc., insisting that everything is fine, when I know they need comfort, encouragement, rest?
Well, neither does God.
The only thing that makes the situation described above worse, is if, when I know my son or daughter is hurting and they are denying their pain, they push me away or otherwise refuse to accept that which they need.
Is it sin to push God away when we are in pain? I'm not sure. I know that this prolongs our pain. I know that it pains the FatherHeart of God. But sin? I don't know. He knows we are frail, silly, oppressed children.
I do know that God rejoices, running toward us, catching us into His giant embrace the *exact* moment we turn toward Home.
And each day He longs for the moment we open our eyes, *see* Him smiling over us and sleepily, happily say, "Good Morning, Papa. Thanks for today".