Wednesday, May 7, 2008


I knew, I knew, I knew that I needed to move past my hurt and disappointment over not pursuing an adoption.

I knew it. I tried. I tried to shake myself out of it. I tried to reason with myself. I tried to talk myself into letting it go. I did. I really did try.

In the back of my mind, I would try to count my blessings. I would try to look on the bright side. I would try to count it all joy. Eye on the prize. Attitude of gratitude and all that.

I would remind myself that we have so many blessings and that I was acting like a whiny brat. I would chastise myself, pointing out that I'd be sorry if God had to really smack me one to get my attention.

Well, maybe next time I will listen to my wise self.

Today, we received a call from the dermatologist. Mark had several skin things removed last week. Turns out one of them is basal cell carcinoma.

Next appointment is early June. They will remove more tissue and do more biopsies at that time.

Prayers, please.

Oh and Papa? I'm pretty much ready to move on now.

And count my blessings.

And I'm sorry I couldn't manage to do it sooner.

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