When telling the story of my coming to Christ, I always relate how I was 30 years old when I accepted Jesus into my heart, by myself, on a couch, in my home, in a town of 800 people.
A friend or two at work over the years had shared their Christian faith with me, but mostly, I was not impressed.
My now-husband had planted some pretty fertile seeds into my very earnest seeking heart, mainly because he had a faith that encompassed his entire life--money, child rearing, marriage, service, schooling, etc.
I always knew that if I ever embraced any faith (and I was sooooo hungry for that in my life--it was the only thing I lacked, at the time), I would do it all out. That is just how I am.
I remember when my babies were born and were not baptized, people around us were not pleased. It seemed that babies are supposed to be dedicated or baptized, even if you attend church only at Christmas and Easter. Not for me. Seemed false and silly to do that, when I did not even believe.
So, the pivotal moment in my life occurred, as described above. And, as I've stated many times, I have never been the same. The change was radical, immediate and completely beyond me.
So fast forward to the other day, I was cruising the local Goodwill (*love* that store--found a cute Fossil purse and also a Kate Spade backpack sort of bag among other treasures) and I found a CD in a bin; a pristine copy of the soundtrack to "Jesus Christ Superstar". Oh my.
Funny how things can jog your memory and you can be transported back in time allatonce. And over the last several days as I have listened to the music, I am in 9th grade; age 14. 1976. Wow.
Three girlfriends and I had choreographed a dance for the school variety show in 8th grade (to the theme from SWAT--with black lights and neon paint on our leotards and hands--::eye roll::) and we wanted to do tryout with another dance.
We chose the soundtrack from "Jesus Christ Superstar"; the final song on the album. We listened to all the tracks, over and over, but chose that one. I remember spending all our free time, listening, choreographing and practicing.
One of the moms made us one piece costumes of royal blue silkysatiny material--V-neck, halter-tied and ruffled with shiny silver trim. Bare feet. Huge homemade star made by covering cardboard with shiny tin foil ("Superstar"--get it?). Oh dear.
Anyhoo. We were chosen to perform in the variety show. We were so proud of that dance. We even (so embarrassing) entered the dance into contests at the local county fairs. We were after the Holy Grail of talent shows in Iowa---a chance to perform in Des Moines at the State Fair for Bill Riley's Talent Show.
We must have performed that thing in half a dozen counties (trivia: Iowa has 99 counties, the most of any state in the USA) before winning in one of them (we had placed many times, but you had to *win* to go to the State Fair), Then we got to go to the State Fair in August and perform our dance on the famous outdoor amphitheater stage. We were so cool. :~)
We placed in the Talent Competition, but did not win (only shocking when you are in 9th grade--not shocking at all to me now). lol
Wow. This is getting loong. All this to say that I now realize that seeds were planted in many more ways than I had ever realized or remembered. Even that time spent on a silly 9th grade modern dance routine.
I listened to that music and I now believe that it played a part in developing a sense in me that desired, *passionately* desired to know the Truth. Passion or nothing. So, for many years, it was nothing.
I have been given a glimpse into the answer to that question all people ask, "Where are you, God? If You are real, where in the heck were you when ____________ happened to me?". Now, I know where He was. I have known in theory, in doctrine and even in my heart.
But now, I have proof. He has been with me my whole life, drawing me, beckoning me, inviting me, guiding me, protecting me and loving me personally. But I was unable to see His presence.
Until on my couch, all alone, I met Jesus. And the search for Truth was over. And He pretty much is a rock opera, a Superstar.
Thanks, Jesus for always being there.
Even to the end of the age...