Thursday, March 20, 2008

Sunrise Journal Thoughts

*****This is a little more personal than the things I tend to share, but I feel like the experience was so special to me, I would venture to put it on the blog. Be kind. :~) This is my style of journal-writing, such that it is.*****

The Son was resurrected in my heart this morning. The glorious nighttime sky/stars were pushed little by little, into the glorious light of daybreak. I was torn, loving the velvety darkness and the sparkling diamond sky, not wanting to see it go or to have it end. Intimate.

And yet, the sunrise.

I knew would be a display like no other. For the longest time, I was able to have both…the few brightandmorningstar(s) on the black backdrop and the promise of morning.
It occurred to me that the stars are not gone, have not vanished, simply because they fade from the sky for a period of time each day. The sun chases them with a more intense light, but they continue to illuminate another world, another sky, another’s darkness.

Neither is God gone, when His presence is dimly seen. He is also still present, still pointing the way, a night-time compass for those who read the stars.

The color had been building, intensifying in one spot. It was easy to anticipate exactly where the sun would emerge.
The soft hues, to more intense, then another softening, then sunrise! The sunrisen color palette was purplish, pinkish, golden, orangey-red.

I loved the way the sunrise started in one place; the pink moving across my line of sight slowly, like a warm embrace. Just prior to the sunrise burst, it enveloped me in a 180 degree hug.

The sun literally burst forth on the horizon!!! I clapped my hands (quietly, so as not to waken my family), then forced my fists into the air, part worship, part victory dance. I grinned big. I closed my eyes, lifted my face toward God’s.

I kissed the Son.

I wanted to take a picture, but literally had to resist the urge several times to run and grab my camera. I had the sense that missing even one minute of this glorious display would be to waste it, to minimize it.

It felt as though it was meant for me. My Father. Loving me. Welcoming me. Home.

When I finally did succumb to the desire to quick! grab the camera, I (of course) found out that it must still be in the car. Left behind. By design.

The focus of the sunrise/Sonrise was not to be on capturing it, in order to remember it. The focus of the sunrise was to awaken my long-held, darkened spirit, with the wonder and majesty of a new day.

I feel better spiritually than I have in a very looong time. Awakened. From my coma. From my desert. From my despair.
Light. Illumination. In my soul.

Not about what God is doing and why (although I still desire to know), but simply (hugely) that He *is* doing and "because”.

Because He loves us.

Because He created us.

Because He knows me.

Because He created me.

“I love you, because you are mine,” I have often told me kids.

God, my very own, perfect Papa, told me He loved me this morning.

I love you, too.


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