Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Seek Ye First...

This is the verse rattling around in my heart and head today. I know that it is pertaining to the issue of adoption and how *not* actively pursuing this in the here and now is sucking the life and joy from me.

I despair I will ever have my brown-eyed girls and that make me so sad. "Hope deferred..." and all that.

But, as I did my bit of mini-gardening (I put in tomato plants and water all my hanging baskets; I also refilled and replenished the bird feeders), I sort of resigned myself (inwardly) to giving this up and enjoying the life that is before me now; everyday.

So, now that I am trekking to the altar with my Isaac, we shall see what the Lord will do. I know that what happened in my heart was sincere, so the Lord shall determine the steps of my journey from here.

Will an Angel appear to stop me from sacrificing my dream? I do not know. I only know that to disobey the voice of the Lord, while perhaps, possible in the short term, is impossible and foolish in the long term.

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