Monday, May 28, 2007

Truth for all, but not for me!!!

Truths I thought I had/would escape, cuz God really iked me best:

1). The journey through the desert. I thought I had had mine pre_God, but apparently, no, everyone *must* go through the desert post-Christ. Don't know why exactly, but seems to be true. I didn't think I'd ever have to have bifocals, either and I know they are coming in June. Sigh.

2). The moment I decide to accept with Joy the desert experience, is the moment I will begin to experience intimacy with the Lord. For some reason, this is difficult for me to do. I really seems to want to hang on to my hurt feelings that keep me separate from Him. Why? I don't know, honestly. Fear? Pride? Ignorance? Rebellion? Sigh.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Satan?, er, I mean....

MRI today shows no problem with my cervical spine.

New most likely culprit for my arm pain, malaise, headaches?


Quitting tonight.

Several week break.

We'll see.


is good, true, right, pure, lovely.

Help me fix my thoughts on these things, Lord.

Umm...yeah. It *is*, now that you mention it...

When you blog, is it therapeutic?

Because I love to read everyday-insightful, stopandsmelltheroses writing. I would pay the gas money to experience the cottonwood snow...

Also, totally am remembering the old movies/daughter time. Sometimes, when marital things go awry, God cashes in the chips for us and we find rich, rich experiences await us in a different arena of our lives.

During a fairly recent and painful time of our marriage, my daughter and I were able to create some strong, shared adversity, memory-making time. Lots* of it.

My prayers about that period in our family life has been/were twofold: 1). That I displayed strong, godly womanhood to her (nope, not doormat theology) and 2) that the memories we created during that unqiue (and now past) time in our relationship would be used by God to cement her heart to mine in preparation for the stormy winds of adolesence.

Good came of that time in our lives. I see it now. I know it.

Bless you today You are storing up treasure in heaven that cannot compare to earthly crap.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Mother's Day Part Duex

Same song second verse.

Jared, Alannah, Mark and I went out to an early supper at Montage for Mother's Day.

Excellent food and funny conversations. That is one of the things I love best about my husband and kids--they are killer-funny!

Laughed so hard, I got a headache (which explains my MRI appt. this coming Friday).

After dinner, Mark and I went over to his parents' house and hung around a bit. Took the dog. It was nice.

I am glad to be a mom; oh yes I am! I am glad to be a step-mom. I hope to be a mom to brown-eyed little girls someday.

Thank you for my children, God. I am blessed.

Friday, May 11, 2007


OK, OK..technically, I didn't post *today*, cuz, um, it's already *tomorrow*, but since I have yet to go to bed, I'm gonna count it.

And the reason I even say anything is cuz I had decided to practice the habit of daily production, remember? Thanks, Barb. (hehehe)

Only worked till noon today. My head and neck hurt.

I will go see my Dr. tomorrow to se if I can have some pain meds.

I have an MRI in one week.

Glenda prayed for me today. Perhaps I will awaken HEALED!

We shall see what the Lord will do...

Wednesday, May 9, 2007


Started after lunch today and has only let up when I took an after work nap.

I just keep pushing on my face; over my eyes, under my eyes, near my temples.

Owwwwww. Grrrrroooooaaaannnn.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Seek Ye First...

This is the verse rattling around in my heart and head today. I know that it is pertaining to the issue of adoption and how *not* actively pursuing this in the here and now is sucking the life and joy from me.

I despair I will ever have my brown-eyed girls and that make me so sad. "Hope deferred..." and all that.

But, as I did my bit of mini-gardening (I put in tomato plants and water all my hanging baskets; I also refilled and replenished the bird feeders), I sort of resigned myself (inwardly) to giving this up and enjoying the life that is before me now; everyday.

So, now that I am trekking to the altar with my Isaac, we shall see what the Lord will do. I know that what happened in my heart was sincere, so the Lord shall determine the steps of my journey from here.

Will an Angel appear to stop me from sacrificing my dream? I do not know. I only know that to disobey the voice of the Lord, while perhaps, possible in the short term, is impossible and foolish in the long term.

Monday, May 7, 2007

The Habit of Daily Production

The Habit of Daily Production

The Habit of Daily Production

The Habit of Daily Production

The Habit of Daily Production

That is the phrase that keeps rattling around in my head, since I heard Barb Hanes say it with regard to her artwork. I think that this is significant to me because I would like to be a writer someday and yet I do not spend a bit (or more) of time everyday, devoted to learning how to write, devoted to the practice of writing.

The Habit of Daily Production

The Habit of Daily Production

The Habit of Daily Production

Must cultivate.