I am sick.
I have been sick with this same type of sickness for 9-10 days in the last 3 weeks. Intestinal yuck. Foul. Rotten. Gross. Icky-doo. Loose :ahem: well, you know. Belching. Gurgling. Nausea--helped only by staying very still.
When inquiring of the Lord about what is going on, I felt like He said that there is some pretty intense spiritual housescleaning going on.
Will I cooperate, by opening up all the windows, shaking out the dust, rolling up my sleeves and perspiring, alongside Him?
Or will I stay in bed, covers thrown defensively over my head, pretending that nothing is needing to be done?
Hmmmm....I know which path I want to take.
But I am so weak. So out of practice. So lazy. Ugh.
Help me, Lord. I am nothing without You. Without You, I am nothing.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Yup. You read the title correctly. I feel as though God has said to me that He will not show Himself, his plan any further, until *we* make the next move, in faith.
The picture He showed me was the one scene in the Indiana Jones movie where Indiana jones is sooo close to the treasure room. He follows all the clues, which lead him to a huge gaping hole with no way to cross. He knows he must "step out in faith", but first, he throws out some dirt and rocks and miraculously, the bridge is now made visible. Of course, it was there all along, but it was hidden from his eyes.
I feel like that's about where we are at. Time to throw out some rocks and dirt and watch the transforming power of the Lord, take the dirt, scatter it and show the way to the treaure!
And they all lived happily ever after....Amen.
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
I am making a new start here, as I feel the need to chronicle the journey we are being led to undertake. While most parents our age are looking forward to watching the last little bird fly from the nest, we are embarking on a second round of parenting, via the miracle of international adoption.
Crazy? On many levels, I guess that could be said of us. But I am not moved. Eh.
I'm not even really very offended that some may think that of us or our decisions. One huge blessing of being a woman :ahem: of my age, it that you know who you are, what you love, what you're good at and really feel very little need to apologize for simply *being* who you are and loving it.
However, cliche that "When I am an Old Woman"....poem has become, I'm telling ya, there is a whole lotta truth to it, as far as I am experiencing things. Red hats and purple dresses? Bah. Who cares? All my clothes (by choice) come from Goodwill, where I practice my own made-up brand of recycling and saving.
Buy cheap, used clothes; wear until no longer my cup of tea; resell to consignment store; put money toward our zany What? Who me--retire? activity. Adoption.
I'm certain that we are in for one wild ride. But women my age like roller coasters, even if their big-brimmed, red hat blows off on the first sharp turn...