Sunday, December 30, 2007

VN Bound!!!


It's looking like Mark, Alannah and I will be going to VN with Hope Haven in early 2008! Another wheelchair distribution. It will be my second, Mark's 4th?, 5th?, 6th? and Alannah's first.

So exciting!!

Our Christmas Miracle

Nine, count 'em NINE stockings.

Love it.

Thank you, Lord.

A sweet surprise

Rec'd a lovely ring from Mark for Christmas. Looks sort of like this...

It is a beautiful tanzanite stone, white gold band with a delicate twist, small diamonds on either side of the stone. Purchased from his favorite jewelry store, Tenenbaum's in Waverly.

I love it! Thanks, honey! Mwah!

Exiting Stage Left

Today, I left most of the adoption-related groups I was a member I wait on the Lord, I would like to be found obedient and humble.

Tell that the the tantrumming two year old toddler inside my head.

She didn't get the memo.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Book of Blog 365

Starting a new blog (that makes a total of 4; 3 that are active).

Got the idea from rummaging through some random Blogger blogs. One that intrigued me was called something or other "365" and it was part of trying to be intentional about blogging Biblically for 365 days.

NaNoWriMo a failure.

NaBloWriMo a bust.

We'll see if I can do, please, Lord.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Happy Birthday, Jesus!

For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, [b] Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

7 Of the increase of his government and peace
there will be no end.
He will reign on David's throne
and over his kingdom,
establishing and upholding it
with justice and righteousness
from that time on and forever.
The zeal of the LORD Almighty
will accomplish this.

Friday, December 21, 2007


“With each passing day, I didn’t lose hope.
I fought to have more”.
Amy Tan

Sunday, December 16, 2007

I would, indeed

I Would Gather Children

Some would gather money
Along the path of life,
Some would gather roses,
And rest from worldly strife.

But I would gather children
From among the thorns of sin,
I would seek their twinkling eyes,
And reveal mischievous dimpled grins

For money cannot enter
In that land of endless day,
And roses that are gathered
Soon will wilt along the way.

But oh, the laughing children,
As I cross the sunset sea,
And the gates swing wide to heaven
I can take them in with me!

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Monday, December 10, 2007

Middle of the Night

2:00 AM phone calls are never good.

Thank you, Lord, for holding the one I love close to Your heart.

Help me know how to help.

Friday, December 7, 2007


Must explore this.

I truly don't get it.

At. all.

Monday, December 3, 2007

God at work

in my son's life.

I could not be more thankful for this glimpse into his heart and mind.

The Bible is true.

The Lord God Reigns.


(Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it)


Annnnnd, my blog fared none better.
I only managed to blog about half the days of the month.
For someone who thinks they want to be a writer, I surely do not act like one.

NANOWRIMO is a bust

I wrote all of 5K words and some change.

Dismal performance.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Graci Kate

I am so happy for this dear family.

The are bringing home a daughter that I really care for.

Welcome home, Graci Kate!

Wow--are you inside my head?

"You know, I worry incessantly that I'm turning into someone ugly and bitter that people are eventually going to opt not to be around.

Which then makes me want to fall to my knees in a tear and snot filled frenzy and beg for forgiveness.

When I try not to be the ugly person I am inside during these moments of torment, I end up feeling like a fraud. And a confused one.

Is trying to be a better person actually not being true to yourself? Is trying to change the way you feel about something lying or healing? Can you re-train your brain after something so earth shatteringly tragic has altered it?

I never used to be like this. I swear I didn't.

I'm at war with my head today. Can you tell?"

Quoted from "Certainly Not Cool Enough to Blog".

It's like she's inside my head. ::shudder::

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Worth Quoting

Wherever you are, be all there.
Live to the hilt every situation
you believe to be the will of God.

— Jim Elliot

NaNoWriMo--link added--

Thanks to "Raising Animals" mom for the info re: National Novel Writing Month.

I'm signed up. I'm writing.

We'll see what happens...

Wednesday, October 31, 2007


Family members,
one and all,
tall and small.

They all enrich my life.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Sunday, October 28, 2007


Something to ponder...

If my Love Language(s) is/are: quality time and words of affirmation

is that why my spiritual gift(s) is/are: prophecy and prayer/worship?

Do we act out of our delights? Do I speak encouragement to others, because I know how it makes me feel?

Which came first, Lord?

The gifts or the language?

Or is that all part of Your genius design?

And then....if I want to experience intimacy with You, do I use my gifts/language to achieve this?

Cuz, I definitely feel like that's something you said to me today at church.


Sunday, October 21, 2007

Pondering...--link added--

We just had a World War III
here in our kitchen

We both thought the meanest things
And then we both said them

We shot at each other
till we lost ammunition

This is how I know our love
This is when I feel its power

Here in the absence of it
This is my darkest hour

When both of us are hunkered down
And waiting for the truce

(lyrics-Sara Groves)

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Joy in the Journey

To all who've been born in the Spirit
And who share incarnation with Him
Who belong to eternity stranded in time
And weary of struggling with sin

Forget not the hope that's before you
And never stop counting the cost
Remember the hopelessness when you were lost

There is a joy in the journey
There's a light we can love on the way
There is a wonder and wildness to life
And freedom for those who obey

And freedom for those who obey...

Thanks to Michael Card-singer/songwriter

Thankful, continued...

After one *week* of rainy, drizzley, foggy, cloudy, Seattle/London weather, yesiree, seven loooooong days,

the SUN came out!!!


Just me and the Lord

Mark, Rachel and Caleb just left this AM for a multi-generational road-trip out West.

They are sort of keeping the itinerary loose, but plan to see Mt. Rushmore, Yellowstone and Estes Park.

I hope they have a great time, reliving things and making new memories.

Now, for me?

Cleaning the basement, ordering a treadmill, changing the linens on the bed to the fall/winter palette, hanging curtains?, scrapbooking, walking, football (thanks to J), meditating, praying, worship, etc.

Just me and Scout (and God) till Sunday evening...

Thursday, October 18, 2007

They that wait upon the Lord...

I know that you spoke to me today, by giving me a gift I've often ask see a bald eagle.

As a neared Sigglekov Park, I was astounded to see a HUGE eagle by the side of the road.

As I neared, the eagle took flight.

Simultaneously, I heard in my heart, "They that wait upon the Lord, ..." and my heart finished the verse...

"They that wait upon the Lord,
will mount up with wings like eagles'.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not grow faint".

I have never see an eagle before, unless from very far away and without much certainty that it really was an eagle.

Thank you for the gift.

Please guard my heart, Lord, for I am in danger of being overcome by emotions.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

UNI Homecoming Weekend

Lots of fun going to our first-ever UNI Homcoming parade this AM with Rachel and Caleb.

Even though Mark and I both got our BAs there and I got my MA there *and* I/we have lived in this area for over 25 years---never before have we gone to the parade.

It was nice weather and Caleb was so excited. I love seeing things through the eyes of a child.

The game is tonight and the Dome is sold out. GO PANTHERS!!!

****** postscript--UNI is #1!!!! Wahoooooo!

Thursday, October 11, 2007


Thankful for:

cooler temps,
our children.


would like to try to write poetry

inexplicable. undeniable.

more than a bit out of character



Tuesday, October 9, 2007


Is it really shallow to be thankful for a TV show?

Cuz, I'm am really glad for "House".

Oops, I did it again

Forgot to write about what I am thankful for yesterday...

umm, yesterday, I got to stay home with Alannah all day, helping her clean her room and getting her costume fitted, etc.


Saturday, October 6, 2007


Feeling led to focus on things/people, etc. that I am thankful for...

Will try to log in everyday--this is important.

Today, I am thankful for...

the health of all 6 of our children and of Caleb, our grandson.

Thank you, Lord, for that priceless gift.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007


Job 7 (New International Version)

1 "Does not man have hard service on earth?
Are not his days like those of a hired man?

2 Like a slave longing for the evening shadows,
or a hired man waiting eagerly for his wages,

3 so I have been allotted months of futility,
and nights of misery have been assigned to me.

4 When I lie down I think, 'How long before I get up?'
The night drags on, and I toss till dawn.

5 My body is clothed with worms and scabs,
my skin is broken and festering.

6 "My days are swifter than a weaver's shuttle,
and they come to an end without hope.

7 Remember, O God, that my life is but a breath;
my eyes will never see happiness again.

8 The eye that now sees me will see me no longer;
you will look for me, but I will be no more.

9 As a cloud vanishes and is gone,
so he who goes down to the grave [a] does not return.

10 He will never come to his house again;
his place will know him no more.

11 "Therefore I will not keep silent;
I will speak out in the anguish of my spirit,
I will complain in the bitterness of my soul.

12 Am I the sea, or the monster of the deep,
that you put me under guard?

13 When I think my bed will comfort me
and my couch will ease my complaint,

14 even then you frighten me with dreams
and terrify me with visions,

15 so that I prefer strangling and death,
rather than this body of mine.

16 I despise my life; I would not live forever.
Let me alone; my days have no meaning.

Good bye, Troy

This is the sweet friend I remember.

This is from our Homecoming date, sophomore year.

I pray you are with your Mom and with our Lord.

See you in eternity.

The Reason

i'm not a perfect person. there are many things i wish i didnt do
but i continue learning. i never meant to do those things to you.
and so i have to say before i go, that i just want you to know

i've found a reason for me, to change who i used to be
a reason to start over new, and the reason is you

i'm sorry that i hurt, its something i must live with everyday
and all the pain i put you through, i wish that i could take it all away
and be the one who catches all your tears, thats why i need you to hear

i'm not a perfect person, i never meant to do those things to you
and so i have to say before i go that i just want you to know

i've found a reason for me, to change who i used to be
a reason to start over new, and the reason is you
i've found a reason to show a side of me you didnt know
a reason for all that i do, and the reason is you

(chosen by Troy-played at his funeral)

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Troubled Dreams


Last night's dream was troubling on many levels.

Started with the much-repeated tornado dream, but with a twist (pun intended).

All the people of the city were heading to an organized shelter, in a very prescribed manner. The siren had sounded. Everyone knew where they would go in the event of such a drill or disaster.

As we herded into our places, it became apparent that we had been duped. Specially chosen; no disaster after all. We were all Christians. Not looking good for the *reason* we had all been herded into this place.

People began to question, then panic. No exit found, chaos ensued.

In the confusion, I had hidden under a desk or table to try to make a plan. I realized (here's the dream part of the dream) that I had a knife I could use to defend myself and the others. I was scared. I was hesitant.

Could I really use a knife (or any weapon) against someone? A person? I was now dizzy.

Screams from those around me provided the answer...I *had* to do something.

I changed my grip on the knife from one you would use to poke at someone, or merely frighten them, to one you would use to stab someone. Decision made.

I waited for an opportune moment and lunged from my hiding place. I struck the man who appeared to be the leader. As I plunged the knife into his chest, abdomen; over and over, I realized I was actually *killing* this man.

Ugh. Warm blood spilled from the man, onto my hands, making them slippery. People stood and watched. The other assailants fled. No-one said a word. No-one screamed.

Except me. I screamed at the people. I screamed at them to run, flee, get to safety. After a moment, they began to scatter. No longer quiet, but not panicked, either. Slowly. As though they could not process all that had happened. All they had seen. And what it all meant.

I, however, ran. Disgusted. Sickened. Certainly not proud or triumphant.

I rationalized my decision and found no guilt or shame or condemnation within me. It seemed in order to save the people, someone had to act. It seemed that person was supposed to be me.

I also realized that the end of the times was upon us; here in America, at least. No more pretending. No more asleep at the wheel. They were coming for *us*. And, I realized, I had not killed at man, but an evil entity. Shudder.

"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places."Ephesians 6:11-13

Sunday, September 16, 2007

That about sums it up...

"To raise a child
is to be a part of a miracle,
and no matter how often
you hold a small hand in yours
or tie a tiny shoe
or hear a young voice in prayer...

it will never be enough".

Saturday, September 15, 2007


Psalm 45:9-16

Angels watching over me...


The LORD watches over you— the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

Thank you, Lord, for saving me on Thursday. As I crossed the bridge and simultaneously dozed off, I *know* your angels protected me from harm; I just missed the guardrail.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007


So, what does one do? What does one say? On this most horrific of days...

I heard that there was disagreement about how to commemorate the day. Years previous, have always included a reading of the names of the 3,000 victims who lost their lives on 9/11.

But I heard that this year, they were not going to read the names.

Right? Wrong? Healing progress? Callous disregard? I dunno.

I feel like there should be no forgetting of the terror of that day. I believe it to be the defining moment of my generation. I will never be the same. Our country will never be the same.

But to continue to do the same thing year after year? Seems like we can do better.

All I know is, I thought 9/11 thoughts all day and listened to 9/11 music (Bruce Springsteen's "The Rising") and wore my red, white and blue ribbon on my blouse.

I wish this could just become a memory, but I fear that there is more terror coming for our nation. We are hated. We are targets. It is just a matter of time.

God bless the USA.

Sunday, September 9, 2007


1). Ability to mingle

2). Planning fun surprises

3). Anticipation of girlfriend time

4). Sadness that I can't continue my exercisewalking--leg injury

5). Opening the Bible out out of curiosity--2 Corinthians 10:4, anyone?

6). Willingness to pray for others

7). Thinking about giving up internet obsession--*thinking*

8). Miracles--reconciliation, new address, Scout, Nathan, Rachel, Abby...

9). Getting things on my to-do list done

10. Wrote the outline for "Good Girls Don't, but I Do" in less than one hour

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Think about's so true

"Death is the Spirit's better birth.

The dawn of a Perfect Day."

(seen on a headstone in Hickory Grove Cemetery)

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

The Big Thaw

My heart...

warmed once again by God's love.

Melting, thawing.

Awakening, feeling.

Hungering, thirsting.

So. thankful.

Saturday, August 25, 2007


Broken Glass and Rain

I have said for a long while that for the last year or so, I have felt like I was crawling on my hands and knees through broken glass. Ouch. Yuck. Agonizingly painful and slow.

But, after last week's prayer from the youth at church, I have experienced a complete washing away of the grime and grit. The Lord opened the heavenlies (literally) and dumped torrents of rain on me, as I ran through a parking lot at work.

At first, I was rather distressed and inconvenienced; after all, I was pulling my cart, carrying my purse, lunch box and computer case and my remote door opener is broken. Sheesh. I was shower-soaked. Soaking wet.

As I ran, hoping to avoid the rain (yeah, right), I was suddenly filled with little kid joy. I laughed and laughed and no longer cared that I was soaked, my car would be soaked, my computer bag and cart were soaked. I laughed loudly and freely and it felt great.

I knew, in the moment, that God was working; washing away my crud, in an instant, as only He can do. However, it wasn't until several days later that week, that I remembered that rain has such special significance for me and my Papa-God. He reminded me of when, as a newly saved woman, I had begged Him to show me my life vision.

When He brought it, I shared it with our pastors and then was asked to share it with our church. I wrote it up in my journal and have revisited it, from time to time. Here it is...

I am dancing in the rain. Buckets and buckets of rain. I am having blast, free, don't care who sees me. After awhile, the Lord says to my heart, "Put your hands together". I cup them and they fill, immediately, over and over, splashing out around me.

Then, the Lord speaks again. He says, "Now. You must give it away.". And I knew. I knew that I would spend the rest of my life, hands empty and outstretched, being refilled again and again, only to be be emptied, as I freely give away all that I am given.

Now, the trick? To actively resist the ick and the agony of the broken glass, while embracing the rain.

Darling 10 year old

Darling 10 year old with VORF

I will call and inquire.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Cat's in the Cradle--ugh

This week I had my first "Cat's in the Cradle" moment with my daughter.

When the kids were little, I instituted, "Kids' Day", as the last day of the summer, prior to the start of school. The only rules were...there were no rules! Ice cream for breakfast? Sure! Goofy golfing? OK! Waterfun? No prob. Ahhhhh, those were the days of some heady mommy-pedestal memories. Sigh.

So, Monday was a non-contract day for me, but I had soooo much work to do, I worked. Then, in a moment of brilliance, it came to me--I would take Thursday off, instead, and present the day to Alannah as a gift. She and I could shop, get clothes, school supplies, eat lunch, get dessert, pedicures, manicures, etc. Wow, what a cool mom am I!

Except...I didn't clear my big idea with my daughter's day-planner. Her last day of summer? Filled with working at her job, prepping for her dance team Fall Kickoff and going out with friends after.

Hmmmm...she even apologized, saying that it sounded fun, but well, she was busy.


Yup. Cat's in the cradle (whatever the h*** that means) has arrived. I only hope I wasn't too busy too many times during her growing up times. I don't want her, or I, to have any regrets.

Man, the time just flew...

God and man in agreement...

Straight from Wikipedia...

"An intense amount of pressure and heat makes the diamond form."

Nuff said.

I hope we're about done, Lord...

Please, Lord...

"Set Me Free"

It hasn't always been this way
I remember brighter days
Before the dark ones came
Stole my mind
Wrapped my soul in chains

Now I live among the dead
Fighting voices in my head
Hoping someone hears me crying in the night
And carries me away

Set me free of the chains holding me
Is anybody out there hearing me?
Set me free

Morning breaks another day
Finds me crying in the rain
All alone with my demons I am
Who is this man that comes my way?
The dark ones shriek
They scream His name
Is this the One they say will set the captives free?
Jesus, rescue me

As the God man passes by
He looks straight through my eyes
And darkness cannot hide

Do you want to be free?
Lift your chains
I hold the key
All power on Heav'n and Earth belong to me

You are free
You are free
You are free

Monday, August 20, 2007


Surely, Lord,

You count

and hold

the silent tears

of the suffering,

as well as those

offered outwardly?

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Living in the Promise(d) Land

Must stop living as though life for me will truly begin at the point that Mark and I become adoptive parents.

I am missing the present. I am missing the gift of the present.

I am already living in the Promise(d) Land. Thank you, Lord for that. For the incredible gift of the present...the Promise(d)land.

Saturday, August 4, 2007

I just wanna know...

How to say, "I love you" in Vietnamese. And, "It's OK". And "You are my/our daughter". And "Where does it hurt?" and "Don't be afraid." and "We will always love you" and "We are glad you are ours".

Rosetta Stone-Vietnamese arrived yesterday.

I cried at the Dunraven Inn in Estes Park when Mark told me he had ordered it.

Hoi An

Isn't she lovely?

She is with another agency, but apparently is up for adoption. She is 10 years old and was photographed by a couple from CR, when they were meeting their darling, infant daughter for the first time.

What to do?

Friday, July 13, 2007

Worth Quoting on a Napkin

"Maybe the sand

you're walking in

is the sand

of a distant ocean".

by Margaret Ansett

Recipe for Happiness

Remembering the fullness and happiness of the past, I asked the Lord about my sadness of the last 2 years.

His response?

"You are doing none of the things that used to make you happy".


The Voice of Truth

But the Voice of Truth

tells me a different story.

The Voice of Truth says,

"Do not be afraid!"

And the Voice of Truth says,

"This is for My glory"

Out of all the voices

calling out to me

I will choose to listen

and believe

the Voice of Truth.

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Romans 7--the Prequel

Today's teaching at church was out of Romans 7. Sort of the prelude to the almighty, oft-quoted, muchly memorized content of Romans 8. *Every* good Christian knows the content of Romans condemnation and God works all things for good...

But today, I sort of heard Romans 7--the O wretched man and who will save me? stuff. Heard many times before. Read it many times, as well. But today...what was it, Lord...?

Oh yeah. The whole sin nature vs. rightnous nature. Can't be two things at once. I am only righteous, through Christ Jesus.So, there is no war between good and evil within me. I am only godd, through Jesus.

More later....lost my point! Yikes :~)

No small thing...

Let's begin with the miracle.

Rachel. Seated next to me. In church. With Caleb. Smiling. At *me*, as I offer toys from a backpack to a restless Caleb. OMW!

The last time I sat with Rachel in a church was many, mnay years ago. maybe as many as 12-15? Mark brought his children to church and he and I attempted to sit together; one and all. Not gonna happen, according to young Rachel.

She literally kicked Mark in the shins (quite hard!) and all 4 kids hightailed it out of church, up to the parking lts, where the Cedar Falls police were called to help sort things out. Nice cop. Really nice. Helped get Mark and his kids over the immediate hump (they did not return to the service) and never returned to church.

Now, after waiting and praying and counseling and trying and crying and separating and coming back together, Rachel is at church. Seated next to me. Smiling.

Praises to the God Most High, for He has done great things for us!

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Google Says, "Teri needs..."; Teri's Replies

Teri seriously needs to create a no-close-up-unless-an-army-of-photoshop-assistants-are-within-50m clause in her contract.


Teri needs saving.

Ahem: Correction. Teri has *been* saved.

Teri needs a gawky, baldheaded loser with red and grey boxer shorts.


Teri needs to be saved from her own damn self!

More often than I would care to admit.

Teri needs to be spoon fed.

By nubian goats? :snort::

Teri REALLY needs to eat something.

More like, needs to *stop* eating EVERYthing. Sheesh.

Teri need to eat a cheeseburger, or 10.

See above.

TeRi (NeEdS SoMe TiMe)

My personal fave! So true and so creatively written.

Terri needs to quit playing with her readers or she won't have very many left.

No-one reads this silly thing of mine.

Teri needs a hero.

I have One, thank you very much.

Recurring Dream, Recurring Dream, Recurring D

Symbol: Tornado

When a tornado appears, it is a symbol of confusion, chaos and emotional upset.

It can also represent uncontrollable change that is going to occur in your life or the lives of other people present in the dream.

Huh. Ya think?

Thursday, June 28, 2007

A Someday Song for Mark

"When I Get Where I'm Going"

by Brad Paisley
Dolly Parton

When I get where I'm going
On the far side of the sky
The first thing that I'm gonna do
Is spread my wings and fly

I'm gonna land beside a lion
And run my fingers through his mane
Or I might find out what it's like
To ride a drop of rain


Yeah when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
I will shed the sins and struggles
I have carried all these years
And I'll leave my heart wide open
I will love and have no fear
Yeah when I get where I'm going
Don't cry for me down here

I'm gonna walk with my grand daddy
And he'll match me step for step
And I'll tell him how I missed him
Every minute since he left
Then I'll hug his neck

[Repeat chorus]

So much pain and so much darkness
In this world we stumble through
All these questions I can't answer
So much work to do

But when I get where I'm going
And I see my maker's face
I'll stand forever in the light
Of His amazing grace
Yeah when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
I will love and have no fear
When I get where I'm going
Yeah when I get where I'm going

Monday, June 25, 2007

God in the dr.'s office

Today, while waiting to see the doctor, I flipped through a Parent's magazine. Imagine my surprise when I noticed an article about adoption being advertised on the cover.

So, I flipped to the start of the article and noted (again, with surprise!) an article written by an adoptive father. The crux of the article was that dads sign on to the idea of adoption in a much different way than moms do.

Of course, this is already something I know, but I was oddly comforted to know that most fathers worry about lack of time, money and energy and don't "fall in love" with their children until meeting them.

Me? I've been in love with this little one my entire life.

I asked the doc to if I could take the article; he said, "yes" without even asking what it was.

I folded it, put it in my purse and will save it to show Mark.

More hints, Papa-God?

What does the Good Book say?

"Pure, unstained religion,

according to God our Father,

is to take care of orphans and widows

when they suffer

and to remain uncorrupted

by this world."

James 1:27

Sunday, June 24, 2007

#3 on the List

Monique from Gift of Love called last week to let us know that we are #3 on the list. When we move to the top position, we will be notified to begin our paperchase.

Breathless. Freakin' out. It's *real*.


Love you my BrownEyedGirl,

Your Mom

Monday, May 28, 2007

Truth for all, but not for me!!!

Truths I thought I had/would escape, cuz God really iked me best:

1). The journey through the desert. I thought I had had mine pre_God, but apparently, no, everyone *must* go through the desert post-Christ. Don't know why exactly, but seems to be true. I didn't think I'd ever have to have bifocals, either and I know they are coming in June. Sigh.

2). The moment I decide to accept with Joy the desert experience, is the moment I will begin to experience intimacy with the Lord. For some reason, this is difficult for me to do. I really seems to want to hang on to my hurt feelings that keep me separate from Him. Why? I don't know, honestly. Fear? Pride? Ignorance? Rebellion? Sigh.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Satan?, er, I mean....

MRI today shows no problem with my cervical spine.

New most likely culprit for my arm pain, malaise, headaches?


Quitting tonight.

Several week break.

We'll see.


is good, true, right, pure, lovely.

Help me fix my thoughts on these things, Lord.

Umm...yeah. It *is*, now that you mention it...

When you blog, is it therapeutic?

Because I love to read everyday-insightful, stopandsmelltheroses writing. I would pay the gas money to experience the cottonwood snow...

Also, totally am remembering the old movies/daughter time. Sometimes, when marital things go awry, God cashes in the chips for us and we find rich, rich experiences await us in a different arena of our lives.

During a fairly recent and painful time of our marriage, my daughter and I were able to create some strong, shared adversity, memory-making time. Lots* of it.

My prayers about that period in our family life has been/were twofold: 1). That I displayed strong, godly womanhood to her (nope, not doormat theology) and 2) that the memories we created during that unqiue (and now past) time in our relationship would be used by God to cement her heart to mine in preparation for the stormy winds of adolesence.

Good came of that time in our lives. I see it now. I know it.

Bless you today You are storing up treasure in heaven that cannot compare to earthly crap.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Mother's Day Part Duex

Same song second verse.

Jared, Alannah, Mark and I went out to an early supper at Montage for Mother's Day.

Excellent food and funny conversations. That is one of the things I love best about my husband and kids--they are killer-funny!

Laughed so hard, I got a headache (which explains my MRI appt. this coming Friday).

After dinner, Mark and I went over to his parents' house and hung around a bit. Took the dog. It was nice.

I am glad to be a mom; oh yes I am! I am glad to be a step-mom. I hope to be a mom to brown-eyed little girls someday.

Thank you for my children, God. I am blessed.

Friday, May 11, 2007


OK, OK..technically, I didn't post *today*, cuz, um, it's already *tomorrow*, but since I have yet to go to bed, I'm gonna count it.

And the reason I even say anything is cuz I had decided to practice the habit of daily production, remember? Thanks, Barb. (hehehe)

Only worked till noon today. My head and neck hurt.

I will go see my Dr. tomorrow to se if I can have some pain meds.

I have an MRI in one week.

Glenda prayed for me today. Perhaps I will awaken HEALED!

We shall see what the Lord will do...

Wednesday, May 9, 2007


Started after lunch today and has only let up when I took an after work nap.

I just keep pushing on my face; over my eyes, under my eyes, near my temples.

Owwwwww. Grrrrroooooaaaannnn.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Seek Ye First...

This is the verse rattling around in my heart and head today. I know that it is pertaining to the issue of adoption and how *not* actively pursuing this in the here and now is sucking the life and joy from me.

I despair I will ever have my brown-eyed girls and that make me so sad. "Hope deferred..." and all that.

But, as I did my bit of mini-gardening (I put in tomato plants and water all my hanging baskets; I also refilled and replenished the bird feeders), I sort of resigned myself (inwardly) to giving this up and enjoying the life that is before me now; everyday.

So, now that I am trekking to the altar with my Isaac, we shall see what the Lord will do. I know that what happened in my heart was sincere, so the Lord shall determine the steps of my journey from here.

Will an Angel appear to stop me from sacrificing my dream? I do not know. I only know that to disobey the voice of the Lord, while perhaps, possible in the short term, is impossible and foolish in the long term.

Monday, May 7, 2007

The Habit of Daily Production

The Habit of Daily Production

The Habit of Daily Production

The Habit of Daily Production

The Habit of Daily Production

That is the phrase that keeps rattling around in my head, since I heard Barb Hanes say it with regard to her artwork. I think that this is significant to me because I would like to be a writer someday and yet I do not spend a bit (or more) of time everyday, devoted to learning how to write, devoted to the practice of writing.

The Habit of Daily Production

The Habit of Daily Production

The Habit of Daily Production

Must cultivate.